Tok Cock Sing Song

[Guest C350]

pa chew

we convoy there lor we also marketing ma hee.....

1) C35

2)

3)

[Guest C350]

pa chew

we convoy there lor we also marketing ma hee.....

1) C35

2) kompressor

3)

me too

after this we may have license to do shipping business super green bright light liao hor, must come & huat ya!

[Guest jenvid]

Attached are non-animated pictures. They are used to test your pressure level.

If you see them moving, that means you are under pressure. The speed of the

moving is the level of your pressure. The higher that moving speed, the higher pressure you have. Most children and old men only see static pictures. If you see the pattern moving in a slow motion, that means you have a bit of pressure at this very moment . Test yourself regularly with these pictures to know yourself better. Sometimes, it is good to have a appropriate pressure to push us to do better, but too much pressure can cause physical and emotional harm. Please calm yourself if you see the patterns moving in a fast pace.

[Guest 9339]

My son see also moving leh........ School work got pressure meh :banghead:

[Guest jenvid]

My son see also moving leh........ School work got pressure meh :banghead:

school work got more presssure than adult hor...

[Guest kopimonster]

My son see also moving leh........ School work got pressure meh :banghead:

school work got more presssure than adult hor...

make that singapore school work ;D ;D ;D

[Guest 9339]

The portion which my eye focus on didnt move, but those beside move mean what? I am stress with outside thing like too much Sgmerc events?

[Guest 9339]

I think this is not a test, is only some eye trick, david too free chor bo lan only :yawn:

[Guest redbell]

MMB no good. i kept staring at u today at mbm but u dun even bother to look at me... humph! dun friend u le... call u oso dun pick up my call.... :yumyum:

[Guest Cklasse]

what time har....MMB at my home in the morning le.

[Guest redbell]

afternoon lah. i collect my car ard 4pm bah...

[Guest jenvid]

Jenvid, please remove this as it is creating a mess here. hahahahahahahaha

Our MMB cannot see gilr liao. kakakakaka

:bootyshake:

hehehe... this is the whole idea mah...

[Guest sy69u]

errr.... wat the hell is mmb doing at ur home in the morning????????? u guys 'sleeping' together????

[Guest sy69u]

damn chia lak. when i look at the middle pix, it moves slowly but the ones on top & below move very fast lei... how ah? wat does it mean??

[Guest jenvid]

damn chia lak. when i look at the middle pix, it moves slowly but the ones on top & below move very fast lei... how ah? wat does it mean??

U too stressed ? neber go TS ? I think they miss u hor...

[Guest jenvid]

A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells

nice.

The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells

him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why.

The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, 'What's wrong with the

coworker telling you your hair smells nice?'

The woman replies, 'He's a midget.'

[Guest sy69u]

hahahahahahaha.... but wat if the woman does bw????

[g8crasher]

alamak sy69u always ahead of the game... :

[Guest sy69u]

bro homeripper, must be fast lah... if not kena 'bang' from the behind lah :ky:.... hahahahahahahaha

[g8crasher]

hahahaha you never know who's standing behind you trying to make you drop that bar of soap :la:

[Guest jenvid]

PLEASE DON'T HELP

Dear Prime Minister,

We citizens of Singapore urge you to PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

We DO NOT NEED your help. Every time, you mention HELP, we have to run for

cover!!!

Help the poor? Raise GST!

Help traffic flow? Up ERP!

Help passenger service? Up Bus fare/MRT fare!

Help us get taxi? Raise taxi fare!

Help us get good government? Raise Minister and Civil servant salary!

Every time you WANT TO HELP, we all PAY FOR IT!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU...TOLONG LAH, please, we will HELP OURSELVES,

no need your help liao.

We DARE NOT ask for help any more!!!

Sir, most honoured sir, I urge you NOT TO HELP Singapore INVEST also!

Every time your wife invest, we all lose money! Gao liao, kum siah!

Just let us have a dose of bad governance, like recently the Mat Selamat

case,

like dat....so far, it is ok, your incompetence, we ACCEPT!

PLEASE DO NOT help us have better security! Wait we all kena PAY FOR IT!!

I believe ALL SINGAPOREANS PREFER NOT TO HAVE CRUTCH MENTALITY!

I think it is ok lah, please just take your salary and enjoy life ok?

Thank you thank you,

I am very chin chai one, any how any how, no need to help oso can one.

[Guest dash]

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and

the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at RM0.06 per litre. Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60 or you cut the supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want RM1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows or the cow urine instead. Your two cows retire together with the Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. One cow-peh and one cow-bu

[Guest dash]

Extract from a IT magazine, somewhere far far away... :afro:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that

took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now

monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing

7.5, and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my

favourite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't

work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is

just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run

EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system

once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not

allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate

software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because

ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before

the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,

Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs.

Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.

Once this

happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to

purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 21 and Diamonds 5.0

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short

Skirt 3.3.

This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible

damage to the OPERATING SYSTEM.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

[Guest dash]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I do".

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up...and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??..What was that?"

So she says the words that every husband dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man!"

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off from work and spend time with her.We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed deptstore. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outifts. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept, where she picked up a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you....she was soooo excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me, because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out,

"No, honey, I don't feel like it".

Her face just went completely blank, as her jaw dropped with a baffled

"WHAT??"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while............You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman".

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either...... :swduel:

[Guest dash]

A sexy woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. Seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers.

As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?"

She asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to himï¿1?2

" She said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.

"Tell him," she whispered, " there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room :tazzie: