Moral Lesson to share

[Guest 9339]

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

[Guest 9339]

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

[Guest 9339]

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

[Guest 9339]

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

[Guest 9339]

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

[Guest NewC180]

Wa lao sibei funny!

Damn good morals!

:clap2::clap2::clap2:

.

[g8crasher]

Post some more leh bro very entertaining haha

[Guest Luci Ride]

At the Vatican toilet 1 priest and a cardinal was standing side by side at the urinal. Cardinal looked at the priest birdie & noticed a nicotine patch, the Cardinal asked the priest if he should consider putting it on his neck or shoulder/arm as it'll be more effective. Priest replied, 'Oh No, it's working perfectly fine for me. Am currently down to 2 butts a day fm 8'. :becky:

[Guest NewC180]

No moral lessons here, but a pretty good laugh:

An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual

tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote

a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I'm feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato

garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know

if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig

the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love,

Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love,

Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the

entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.

That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love,

Vinnie

[Guest NewC180]

Two women were playing golf...One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,' she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?

He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!'

.

[Guest lightning]

NewC180 wrote:

No moral lessons here, but a pretty good laugh:

An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual

tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote

a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I'm feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato

garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know

if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig

the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love,

Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love,

Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the

entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.

That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love,

Vinnie

hahaha pete...this is a good one...:whistle:

[Guest east539]

Ah Hua's ( China Doll) Interview -

Ah Hua went for a job interview to be a secretary.

When the manager saw Ah Hua's colorful attire and gold, white-highlighted hair, his mind is screaming, 'NOT THIS WOMAN!!!'. so chekai.

Nevertheless, he still had to interview Ah Hua .

So he told Ah Hua, 'If you can form a sentence using the words that I give you, then I will give you a chance! The words are

YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE , PURPLE and BLACK>.'

Ah Hua thought for a while and said,

'I hear the phone GREEN , GREEN , GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW..... BLUE's that?

WHITE did you say?

Aiyah, wrong numberlah... ..Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, ok? Kum Siah.

The manager fainted....

[Guest east539]

If you're in sales or marketing, subtle differences you need to know and be aware of..

What is marketing?

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I

am very rich. Marry me! " - That's Direct Marketing"

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.

One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: " He's

very rich. "Marry him." -That's Advertising"

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her

telephone number. The next day, you call and say: " Hi, I'm very

rich. Marry me" - That's Telemarketing"

4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten

your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door

(of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her

ride and then say:"By the way, I'm rich. Will you Marry Me?" -

That's Public Relations"

5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and

says:"You are very rich! Can you marry Me?" - That's Brand

Recognition"

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I

am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

- " That's Customer Feedback"

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I

am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. -

"That's demand and supply gap"

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before

you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will

you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating

into your market share"

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before

you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's

restriction for entering new markets "

[Guest stealth123]

hahaha - yes yes, i really had a good laugh too!